When One Door Closes

I haven't updated my blog in forever, and now I'm on my way home, and feel like I need to write a final entry about mexico. In the past 48 hours I have experienced so many emotions, and have just decided to share my journal entry about it, so here it is! Enjoy it!

August 20/2013

Right now I’m sitting in the Mexico City airport, and feeling very alone. I’m so full of so many emotions, that I hardly know what to write.  I just spent the last 3 ½ months living in Mexico with the most amazing host family. However it’s time for me to return home, and it sure has been a rollercoaster. I’m full of excitement for what awaits me back home, however I’m full of sadness at having to leave behind such an amazing chapter of my life. Mexico has taught me so much, and I know it’s time to bring those lessons back, and apply them in my life, however reality is not nearly as fun as the little bubble of perfectness I’ve been protected by recently. I have absolutely fallen in love with Mexico, and can honestly say I have been viewing it as home for months now. I love the people, the culture, the food (haha), and all the sounds and colors here. The idea that I might never return literally breaks my heart. I cry every time I think about it. This morning as I was preparing to leave Tehuacan a strange thought occurred to me. “I get to go home,” I thought, but then I realized that I don’t really know where “home” is anymore. I’m in love with Barnwell which is where I spent my childhood making memories, and lifelong friends, and I have had so much fun attending school in Lethbridge and learning to be independent, and I have fallen so completely in love with Mexico, that it has also become home to me.  I’m not really sure where in this world I belong anymore. The only thing I know is that home is where there’s love and happiness, which I have been blessed to experience so much in my short life.  I thought I was ready to leave, but now waiting to board the plane I’m not so sure. I don’t want to say goodbye. I hate that word. No matter what language it is in. Goodbye. Adios. I don’t want to move on yet! I should be happier that a new chapter is about to begin, but the last was so good, that I just want to sit and savour it before turning the page. Is that really such a bad thing? I hope I can return one day, so hasta luego Mexico. I’ll be thinking of you.

Cassidy

Now I'm only hours from home, and I think I'm all cried out, so hopefully the rest of the day will pass in happiness and smiles!